My brother, Daniel, is diagnosed with classic autism. He cannot talk or communicate. He is low functioning on the spectrum...He is a 20 year old that still needs his diaper changed. Imagine the work it takes to take care of Dan the Man—the patience, creativity, courage, and faith…Danny will need to be taken care of for the rest of his life.
When I was young I wanted so much to talk to my brother, to play legos with him, to play hide-and-seek with him, to make him wear girl clothes and make-up, to pick fights with him so that we can get in trouble by mom…to be mean and rude to his little girlfriends, to make fun of each others’ acne, to give him advice, to tell him he needs to go to college, to school him on his jump-shot…to tease each other, to bully each other, to tattle on each other, to laugh with each other…..
But I couldn’t…I watched him sit in a corner and line up cars…or surround himself in a circle of shoes. Or get annoyed hearing the same music book button sound that he would press over and over and over and over again. And then the next day, same music book button sound heard over and over and over and over again…instead of running around outside to play tag, he paced back and forth in the house in the same spot for hours…
Although my brother was not the typical younger brother you would expect, he is still my brother…who pushes me away when I try to smother him, who giggles when I tickle him, and ignores me when I tell him to shut-up from making eccentric noises. He takes my things and they come back to me ruined. He eats my food and drinks my drink when I’m not looking. And I get blamed for everything because, “what could your brother have done? He doesn’t know any better.”…now is this sounding more like your typical younger brother? God has given me the gift of Daniel, my brother with autism…and my attempt is to increase awareness of autism, to be the support for those who know of someone with autism, and to give hope to the families who are now bringing a child into the world with autism…
3 comments:
TO BEGIN...
READING YOUR BLOG EXPLAINS TO ME A LOT ABOUT YOU. TO THIS POINT I CANT SAY I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL BUT I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR EMOTIONS ARE. I CANT IMAGINE WANTING TO TALK TO MY SISTERS AND COMMUNICATE WITH THEM AND PLAY WITH THEM AND NOT BEING ABLE TO IN THE MANNER THAT I DID. SO I KNOW IT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD FOR YOU, YET THE REASON WHY I THINK YOU ARE ONE OF THE STRONGEST PERSON I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED. I AM VERY HAPPY THAT YOUR ARE SHARING YOUR FEELINGS NOW, I NEVER KNEW HOW TO APPROACH YOU ON YOU FEEL ABOUT BRO. I THINK TO MYSELF SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD DANN THE MAN TO PLAY BASKETBALL OR FOOTBALL OR GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES WITH HIM OR LET HIM STAY AT MY HOUSE AND DO THE SAME (BEING THAT I HAVE NO BROTHER), SO I KNOW IF I HAVE THESE THOUGHTS THEN I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW BAD YOU MUST HAVE WANTED TO DO THE THINGS YOU DESCRIBED IN YOUR BLOG, WHICH MAKES THIS SITUATION HARD FOR ME TO ADDRESS AND TRY TO RELATE TO YOU ON. WHEN I SEE YOU AROUND HIM I CAN SEE IN YOUR EYES HOW BAD YOU LONG FOR HIM TO SAY SOMETHING TO YOU AND NOT GIVE YOU THAT LOOK THAT HE WANTS YOU TO LEAVE HIM ALONE, ITS ALMOST THE SAME LOOK I GIVE YOU WHEN YOU TRY TO GET ON MY NERVE PURPOSE..LOL..GLAD TO SEE YOU WRITING ABOUT THIS AND CAN COUNT ON ME TO POST AND TALK BACK TO YOU....LOVE ALWAYS JOE
PS SORRY FOR THE INCORRECT GRAMMAR AND SPELLING ...AND FOR THE CAPS TOO, IM NOT YELLING I JUST DIDNT WANT TO CAPITALIZE (BIT LAZY)
Wow Steph!!!
Its like where do I begin. You are not only a phenomenal sister but a person as well. I never spoke to you about your brother and his situation because I too did not know how to approach you about it. However, it is obvious that observing his struggles to interface with the outside world has taught you a lot about tolerance and compassion. I think what you are doing is great. I give you the up most respect. I don't know but can only imagine how difficult it could have been as a child to go through this not understanding fully what is wrong with your brother. I believe that some of the most loving and compassionate people are siblings of people with special needs. The reason is because they had to struggle with some really tough issues and as a result they have grown. Again I think this is great what you are doing because it is many people who are not as strong as you to deal with their situation or even scared to talk about it. I love you always Jazz :)
Hi Honey.....
I am soooo proud of you for taking the time to express your feelings & create awareness for disabilities like AUTISUM, and to lend a helping hand to Familys in need of your support.
Your KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM, & STREGNTH has gotten you where you are today and it will move and empower people everywhere around the world with or with out disabilities.
You are so beautiful!! I am so proud to have you, Danny, Mom and Dad as part my family. Every time I'm around you and I feel enspired by your power to heal. You are going to be the most amazing healer, trainer, & mentor to thousands of people.
You Your Mom & Dad are the most Patient and kind people I know.
Can't wait to see you!
I love you!
Ang
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